I am faced each day with caring for people I love very much that cannot or do not take the same kind of philosophy in health as I.  My husband’s parents are in their 70s.  They both have disease or infirmity brought on by lifestyle choices (mostly through ignorance not spite).  I hate to say it but it is too late for them to change their habits and, take my word for it, they would if they could.

Back when they had choices even 5 years ago, habits were so engrained that, short of a miracle, they were set on their path of continued decline in health.

The daily grind for them spent mostly in a small room in the house next door to us.  It is a cycle of pain controlled by strong pain killers, anxiety controlled by anti anxiety meds, as well as a miscellany of other drugs for regulating body functions.  Bowel incontinence, urinary troubles, swallowing difficulties, unsteady as they walk,…

As their part time caregiver, it tears up my heart – daily.  I am conforted by the fact they are both Christians and believers in the saving blood of Christ so they will know eternal comfort.  But for now I see this ongoing, drawn out “dying”, if you will.  For there is no life in this part of their lives. 

I wrote to a sister/cousin who cares for her elderly family members, too, and for longer than I have.  I asked her if she could offer encouragement and suggestions.  Her reply was she could not offer “hope”, per se.  That is was hard for her, too.  But to not be weary in doing well.  Trusting in His grace and power to get through it day by day.

You know, though I hoped there was some special word or plan of action to help us through this, I seemed to release the struggle with trying to solve their health issues.  When I found that you just have to get through it, that was enough for me.  I could stop fretting and seaching and hoping in the hopeless (finding a miracle cure for their diseases). I can go on with the daily grind.  I can go over there with a smile.  I can give them the care they need.  My heart can rest.

My sister was right. Do not be weary in doing well.  Trust in the Lord for courage and cheer.  Let the light of God shine forth and through me giving me strength.  I can do all things Through Christ which strengthens me.

Filed under: Caring for Elderly

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